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I brought lunch with me today (a salami and cheese sandwich with a side of pasta salad). The only thing I needed was a soda, but as usual, I was cashless. Yet, this wasn't a big deal because I needed to take some mail to the postbox and along the way is a cash machine. After grabbing money and dumping the letter, I began plotting the shortest path [for me at least because I've worked here for about 8 years(?) and still cannot find my way through the research buildings.] to the coffee stand where I could use my 20$ bill. Honestly, this story is going nowhere other than the fact that my rather large nose picked up the smell of freshly baked cookies at the hospital cafeteria. So I went there for a soda and an extremely fresh oversized cookie. Damn. Those things have me by the balls. Except I don't have balls, but whatever. I got a damn cookie and ate the damn cookie after my sandwich and pasta even though I was already full. Because damn it, there was a cookie on my desk. And it would WRONG not to eat it immediately.

I did manage to save a smidgeon for later. (but only because my stomach was all "stop with the frickin eating you dipshit")

Oh, and I have to close this story with the fact that there was deli paper stuck either to the cheese or salami but I didn't notice this until I was halfway done. I'd like to blame the power of the cookie but truthfully? I can be pretty damn clueless most of the time.

Example: Barley Boy snagged some plastic off my lunch bag on the way to our car this morning and shoved it into his mouth. By the grace of some sympathetic fairy, I got a glimpse of white peeking from his lips from the corner of my eye.

And now my stomach is angry.

I've been pondering the idol worshipping lately. [and before I forget, I finally watched The Dark Knight. And yes, Heath Ledger is particularly great in the role] I'm wondering when the Gods will begin exacting their revenge. I'm wondering if the nonstop obsession over Michael Jackson's death will ever end.
I'm tired of biting my tongue and holding in my opinion about the man. And I think that bears repeating, he was a MAN. Not a child nor man-child, not Jesus nor even the second coming of Jesus. He was man with some serious issues. And I am of the group who find it hard to even celebrate the genius of his music because of his criminal and sick acts. No, he was never convicted. But he paid off many people and admitted to some seriously disturbing and inappropriate acts. Perhaps it's wrong for me to condemn him, but I was never a superfan or even a general fan of his. I don't think his dancing made angels cry.
And I don't think his undoubtedly horrible and shitty childhood justifies his adult behavior.

Anyway, I wasn't wishing the dude dead but I'm not sad for him either. Billy Mays, on the other hand, very sad.

I have been expecting a News Dump from people/groups hoping to get rid of negative press while the world is focused elsewhere, but haven't seen anything yet.

Another movie I finally got around to seeing was Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward John Ford. I think I only actually saw about 35 minutes of it since the house and kids required my attention. And I only heard about a 1/4th of what I saw. So take my review of 'meh' with a huge grain of salt.

I have no idea what's next on my netflix queue. It'll be another month before I remember to turn in the current dvd. In the meantime, there's always instant view where my Miami Vice episodes live.

And my soda is now all gone and it makes me so very sad. I've also finished off my cookie.

The kids have a babysitter this evening and we're going out with Jon's folks for dinner. I'm going to be able to eat without interruption and without inhaling. My focus will solely be on my food. I will stop only when I am ready and not when a kid has a meltdown.

I might even have time for dessert.

Perhaps a cookie.


My Son Sounds Like a TaunTaun.

I am having an epic crisis over my physical appearance.
My hair is still breaking off, so I have bangs no longer than an inch. And today's weather has made my hair resemble something along the lines of a football helmet. Think Sally Field in Steel Magnolias (love that movie btw, makes me cry every single time).

I have no excuse as to why I have yet to get my hair cut. Part laziness, part forgetfulness really. I'm also sitting on a referral to a dermatologist for "excessively thinning hair". I should do something about that.
Even Bean has noticed the Hair Issue. She was making my hair pretty the other day and asked me where my hair was.

She's direct, that one. and the questions just never stop. EVER. Sometimes she's just testing you, other times she's just curious. But she can talk the ear off of a pig. She's got great stories though.

Barley is growing nicely. He has teeth (3 and counting) but not a fan of chunky food. He just turned 10 months and is quickly losing his 'babyness'. He's great for the ego since he claps when you enter a room. He's a happy dancer and a ball of trouble.

I've caught him ripping out weather stripping from the backdoor and trying to open the front door (he just needs a half inch more). We're seriously going to need to strap the boy down and lock him in his room at night.

He's not a fan of grass though. It makes him cry. We're working on that.

I, on the other hand, have never been a fan of Jon&Kate and it's beyond irritating how they are Everywhere now.
The few episodes I saw, I was just generally annoyed by the parents and it felt like I was spying on the kids. And now with all the extra drama, it seems extra wrong for the show to continue. What's really been bothering is the wave of "If I was married to that bitch, I would cheat on her too" responses. It offends me to no end.
She's got issues but in no way does it justify the husband's doggish ways. He's to blame for the mess as well and there's no excuse to cheat on your spouse. If he needed something else, he needed to do the responsible thing and separate/divorce. I think he's a serious tool though.
They are both idiots.

I also find Bravo's new Project Runway spinoff "Fashion Show" to be idiotic as well.

And I am still pointing my finger and saying "Ha-Ha" all Nelson-like at Jack from Lost. The whole bomb thing not exploding after he tossed it in was classic. Why do people follow him again?
Thank god for Juliet.
Seriously though, that just cements my opinion that Jack is a moron.


Still No Food, Still No Focus

I've learned a few things:

Lady GaGa is a horrible dresser. It's like she's trying to be like a cheap imitation Ice T's wife, Coco. That is just an odd couple, by the way. But they seem happy and in love, so whatever. Porn makes them a balanced couple.

K.Holmes *might* be working on a divorce. There is a blind item circulating that fits her. In which case, girl needs to be more stealthy. Now I'm just waiting for a blind item about Tom shopping for a new fake wife.

The nickname Barley's daycare teacher has given him is not only derived from his name, but also means 'little trouble' in Arabic. So fitting.

Vacuuming and mopping floors before 8am on Saturdays only creates Ju-Ju that causes an unprecedented amount of spills and crumbs over the next few days. So disheartening.

Letting Barley 'cry it out' when he wakes for his middle of the night bottle is not worth it and really pisses him off. The little booger started slapping my face while I as making his bottle. Right now it is easier just to get up, but I know it's only going to cause serious issues when we start weaning him off bottle (and that's only a few months away).

My weight is good but my muscle mass is not. I need to firm things up.

And I need lunch. A soda as well.

Need Food to Focus

So the Bean has been stretching her Wings of Drama, if you will.

Last night on way home she told me she wanted McDonalds for dinner (really though, she wanted Burger King because she admitted she wanted a Spongebob toy). After some discussion in which I said no, she told me she needed it, I said maybe this weekend-if you are good, and she told me that she WAS good...she finally wailed "You're not being nice. You don't want me to eat NOTHING!"


So dramalicious. And so funny.

When we got to our exit, she told me that she was sad because I said something mean. I asked what and her response: "I don't remember."

But her Woe is Me antics didn't stop there.
Later as I was trying to get her to bed she got upset because she only got to watch one Spongebob (she gets a half hour show before bed and that's typically two skits of Spongebob, but last night's was a full 30 minute skit). She was confused, I get that, and I tried being reasonable with her. But then she started with "You didn't play with me good today. And tomorrow when you, daddy, and Charlie watch your show...I'm just going to play all by myself!" (the obligatory "because no one loves me" statement was silent but her tone betrayed its presence).

Sweet Juniper. I have no idea why she was so melodramatic yesterday.

And now I really want some Burger King. BTW: Kids meals are only 99cents with the purchase of a Value Meal.

Jon will be living it up in the Big Easy this week and weekend, so I know we will be hitting up BK this weekend. I'm saving it for Friday though.
Wednesday I am planning Mac and cheese as it will be quick and easy to manage while feeding/herding Barley. Plus it will provide a quick lunch for Bean on Thursday.
Thursday night dinner is a mystery though.

The real issue, however, is that our kitchen sink isn't draining properly. (all the more reason NOT to cook). I'm not sure what our next step is. Other than a garbage disposal.


I'm anxiety-ridden at the moment.

The internet has been full of horrendously depressing and awful news. About children. Babies. It's hard to escape because the blogs I read are all intertwined. I don't really know these people but it still makes me incredibly sad. And confused as to why such awful & unfair things can happen to such young children and their families.
I can't imagine having to deal with the loss of a child and it's always been a fear that I've managed to keep in check for the most part. (just need to keep control of my imagination)
Maybe that's why I am taking these tragedies to heart so much. It's hard to shrug off your fears when you see that those fears aren't so ridiculous after all.

I don't know how one even begins to recover from such a thing.

It's made me realize how incredibly lucky we are and how lucky our friends and family are as well. Which makes me think, "isn't that TOO lucky?". So it's like I'm waiting for a shoe to drop. And then my sister calls me crying because my niece fell from a mule and is in the hospital with head injury and they suspect bleeding of the brain.
Luckily, that turned out well but I'm still reliving that phone call and thinking how it could have just easily gone the other way. I still feel my stomach dropping and my whole body turning cold. Sometimes I even wonder if perhaps that I am only dreaming that she's okay.

I want to encase my children in bubble wrap. And I'm constantly trying to keep the 'what ifs' out of my head.

But then Bean jumps down from the stairs the other night and lands on her foot wrong. And Barley is still learning about spatial relationships and tends to either hit his head on tables or smack himself with toys. Both of which are done hard enough to leave red marks.
And he's got yet another ear infection which puts him in the "time for ear tubes" category. And I know it'll make everyone's life better, but Bean freaked after he surgery. I mean, FREAKED the hell out. She had to be drugged to calm down. It's rare, but it happened. And while that can be managed better with Barley this time, what if his reaction is worse.
Stupid what ifs.

I also suspect Barley has an allergy (or several). Need to figure out what.

So yeah, I am loaded with anxiety.

And I've been thinking about Corona a lot. I used to drink that beer in college. And am thinking I should buy some for old time's sake. The sudden obsession with Corona might be a result of watching Point Break over the weekend.

Such a great movie. I had forgotten how ripped Patrick Swayze was. The dude looked great with his wet suit rolled down. And I'm always a fan of Keanu. I find Patrick's character a little annoying though. He destroyed so many lives and still got to ride his wave. I'm not cool with that. I did however enjoy his little line when he tried defending his actions (in re: kidnapping the chick & holding her ransom) by saying "She was my woman, MAN! We shared time!".

We shared time. A good phrase.

And something I have been trying to do with life. Concentrate on the now instead of the uncontrollable.

Perhaps that's why I am so determined to figure out what Barley is allergic to, I can control that. But it seems almost impossible to figure that out. Right now, I'm thinking carrots might be something to take a closer look at.
And I still suspect milk...which if this is the case, needs to be settled soon. We should start transitioning him to real milk soon.

Yeah, like I said.


Crochet Ninjas

My talented student was super kind and crocheted me a small ninja.
It's awesome.

I have the name of the book the pattern came from (it also has pirates and ZOMBIES) and she gave me another book tip on how to crochet food.

It looks fun and incredibly cute.

JOn took my ninja so I am eager to get started on some tiny little projects. (like asparagus!!)

I just need to learn how to crochet though.

Also, I am loving my new Iphone.
I was doing some errands over lunch and decided to grab a few slices from NYPD pizza (which is now franchised as Uncle Ds pizza or something), but had to wait. Typically, I hate waiting. Especially alone.
But then I remembered I had an Iphone and I popped that sucker out and caught up on some Email.
Consequently, did you know that University of Virginia is the #1 most 'private' public university? {Umich being #2}
That seems odd.
But whatever.

I have an IPhone and it rocks!!!

But I've also learned an important lesson: Don't start a Bejeweled game (set to Endless) at midnight while watching Midway. You won't be able to escape.


Flying Time

Barley got sick around the time he turned 8 months. I stayed home with him for 3 days and watched him evolve into a roving little troublemaker. The kid was miserably sick but still decided to start crawling, sit up, and pull himself up. Bean has had some difficulty in dealing with a little brother who seeks her out to take her stuff. She actually broke down in tears last night because he just kept demolishing her toys.
Good times.
No, Really. Good times.

My kids are awesome.

I could munch on Barley's cheeks for hours. And hug the Bean too.

It's still hard to effectively manage my time with each of them so they aren't left with feelings of neglect. But I think we make do.

I think about food a lot. I don't know why.

Celebrity gossip has gotten boring (and the people are unknowns to me). Thought it does look like Lindsay Lohan is headed for a meltdown.

I am so geeked about the Star Trek movie. And I'm anxiously awaiting the opportunity to watch the new Fast&Furious flick.

I still keep tabs on Lost. [I get into it and then forget to watch for awhile] I know that there are some shocking deaths coming and I fear it may be Sawyer and/or Desmond/Desmond Family. That would be greatly upsetting to me. So I am keeping some emotional distance at the moment.

If you haven't been watching DWTS, you should. Gilles is super smoking sexy. I like him, Shawn, and Ty (Jewel's cowboy husband). I'm not sure why Steve-O is still around. Oh, and I also like Lil' Kim. Can't forget her. She dances really well and I find her to be an attractive female (and she also makes me dislike Derek Hough a little less). Kim had me as a fan since the first night when she did a shout out to her friends in prison. Awesome television right there.

Quality time with Jon last night consisted of us sitting on couch together while we played with our Iphones.

To end,
The following picture is a good representation of our life in yellow house.
We eat popcorn. And Bean is known to ration out the popcorn to others. I can tend to hog the popcorn so I understand her tendency to move the bowl out of my reach. I'll tell her that I just need a few more & she keeps tabs on that. ["You had 5 pieces, that is not a few."]

In any case, one day we had popcorn. Towards the end, Bean cut everyone off and took the half-full bowl into kitchen for later.
About an hour later, I was in kitchen and noticed that there was no popcorn. After some cabinet searching and questioning of the Bean, this is what we had:

How to Properly Save Popcorn for Later How to Properly Save Popcorn for Later
(Bean stores her popcorn)

She told me that she liked her popcorn cold. Later that evening, we ate the cold popcorn and it was quite tasty indeed.

Blue Ducks To Die

This morning Hot Geek was actually listening to music on the car radio (usually it's NPR).
Radio banter can get annoying quickly and most times they try so hard to be funny and witty and obnoxious.
But that's really not the point.

I heard something so hilarious this morning (and it didn't involve Kwame and his texts).
There is a species of Blue Duck in England that is going to be extinct. There are only three ducks left. One female (Cherry) and two males (Ben and Jerry). Evidently this is enough to repopulate the species. However, the males are gay and have fallen in love.
It's very sad that they will be the last of their kind, but seriously, gay ducks. It's very sweet and I do believe Alanis would be saying "Ironic". Though I have to wonder how Cherry feels.

Also, suck on THAT! (said towards those who say homosexuality is unnatural and just an immoral choice).

ETA: I did some Googling and came across a Christian news service (Why I even clicked on that, I do not know. No good can come of that).
They are claiming that the ducks must have suffered severe psychological trauma or perhaps been poisoned by pollution. But then they also say the two males are to blame for their species demise...oh, and they are 'infested with a gay spirit'.
I'm not going to touch the idiocy of the gay spirit infestation, but do want to address their placing the extinction blame on the ducks themselves.
That's just harsh. What about the other ducks? Why weren't they responsible enough to live and procreate enough? Also, humans. You just know we had a hand in this.
And I can't help thinking that the boys may know something about Cherry we don't.

I still stand by original statement to all the haters:
Suck it!


Mr. Bowling ( and his Bucket)

I've been meaning to write this for a few days now but I got sick again.

Yeah! Big Fun For All!

As a result of, some facts are a little hazy and I know I have forgotten some interesting tidbits. Plus I had already written this in my head, and believe me, it was HILARIOUSLY endearing. Alas, the germs have made my brain mush. So you are stuck with the following mish mash.

So, the background is that one of Hot Geek's coworkers is actually a neighbor of ours. (cue "It's a Small World After All!" and side note: I never understood that attraction at Disney World but I dig that Simpson's spoof of the ride when they went to Duff Gardens).
Coworker/neighbor joined us for the commute a few times last week. And became a celebrity of sorts in our home. I'm sure this would come as a complete shock to him considering Bean wouldn't even look directly at him when he was in the car with us. However, the real truth is that she is greatly intrigued by him and talks/asks about him all the time.

One morning, Mr. Bowling was sick and stayed home and Bean got all accusatory with her "But I thought Dad's new good friend was riding in the car with us!" We explained he was sick and left the house. A few minutes later she clarifies to me that "Mr. Bowling is sick and needs a bucket". (the last time she had stomach flu, she got to 'spit' into a bucket). I really don't think he was 'bucket sick' but it's what she came up & what she's sticking to, and she still periodically asks if he stills needs the bucket.

You know what got her tired bum out of bed several mornings? "Come on, Bean. We can't be late because we don't want Mr. Bowling to have to wait for us". Her response would be a "YEAAAAAAAH, Mr. Bowling is a good guy!" and she'd leap out of bed.

Honestly, Mr. Bowling is lucky he lives across the street or I fear we'd have a Dennis the Menace/Mr. Wilson type situation.

The latest development is that Bean & I saw Mr. Bowling leaving work last night and she got all "I like Mr. Bowling. He's my favorite guy."

Bean spent a few hours with me at work yesterday. She helped me a little and then she played while I worked on some things. My office became her 'house' and she played with my white board. I took her to the storage room and even visited the vending machine for a special treat. She was a little overwhelmed with the choices, but settled on M&Ms.
Towards the end of our time, she got hyper. I'm not entirely sure if it was the candy or the fact that she liked to close my office door while using my dry erase markers. At one point I came into the office, choked on the fumes, and made a comment about getting high. So of course she repeated that line and I shooed her from my office and banned the markers for awhile. Regardless, it was all very fun. And I think it made her feel happy and special.

To conclude.
The wind is cold.
And it sucks.


I recently read through my archives for when Bean was around Barley's current age.
There are many things I had forgotten, like:
I was amused to see that I was suspicious of Hot Geek cutting my bangs while I slept. I've been having those same thoughts the past few months. Evidently, my bangs just snap off several months after I give birth & it's an awful, awful thing. It looks like someone took a razor blade to my bangs. I have few pieces of longer, normal sized hairs...but the majority are not even an inch long. Freak of nature, that is me.
Also, the Bean was not a happy sleeper at this age either. Over all, she was a great sleeper, but she did have her difficulties (thanks to teething, growth spurts, and over active brain). More importantly, in light of this new information, Barley isn't all that bad of a sleeper. He tends to get the shaft in the sleep comparison. But we only seem to remember that Bean slept like a log the majority of the time. However, getting her to bed was a pain. I remember having to do complicated things to get her to go to sleep (like rocking her in a figure 8 motion). We were never able to put her to bed awake for a long, long, LONG time. On the flip side, Barley can. Sometimes he cries for a minute, most times he doesn't. Point of story, mash my kids' sleeping habits and you'd have the PERFECT sleeping baby.

There are also things that I vaguely recollect, like:
Dressing the Bean and myself alike. It wasn't intentional, but it happened.
Or the fact that it took freaking forever for her frickin' teeth to come in. You could see them just under the gumline, but they took MONTHS to actually come out. Months and months of drool-filled angst.
We are currently in month 3 of "anyday now, those teeth will pop out" with Barley.

In a completely unrelated note: I went out to dinner with friends the other night. No kids. But I still shoveled the food in my mouth faster than a greedy pirate. I found new dish that I am dying to have again...Marsala Chicken Ravioli.

The Bean introduced some new slang this weekend. I was asking her to pick up her toys and I was getting exasperated. And she said "I will Mom, I will. Don't freak! I am picking up my toys."
My 3 yr old instructed me to not 'freak' this weekend. It was all very "my mom needs to chill out and acting spazzy. What a freaking loon!".
Later, I heard her telling her pee to not freak out (she was still trying to make it onto the toilet.) Once she was situated and ready, I heard her say "okay, pee. You can freak out now."
And I am just going to take the opportunity to say that while I find my daughter's conversation with pee a little odd (and questionable at times), just the fact that she is successfully using the toilet after being 'trained' by the most clueless parents, is a testament to her awesomeness. Our 'training' was so inept we are lucky she isn't behaving like a poorly trained lab chimp. Okay, that's a little dramatic. But seriously, we made it so difficult (and Bean's stubbornness wasn't all tha t helpful either. Might as well spread the blame eh?).

Anyhow, photographic evidence that some things haven't changed:

This was not intentional. But it happened. Also, please note the gigantic drool stain around my child's neck. And this was only a few minutes after I took off his bib (a supposedly waterproof bib that was saturated).



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June 2009


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